Saturday, February 2, 2013

Insanity and a Fat Girl - Week 1

This is going to be rough.  But will be honest about myself and the process.  It may be harsh.

New Year's Eve I was at the doctor's office with a buffet of head & chest nastiness.  I mention this because it was the most recent time I was weighed.  Brace yourself for it, dear readers, because it isn't pretty.  Mamma weighed 264 pounds.  Since my love affair with food makes me depression-prone if I try to diet, I had to start exercising.  SOMETHING has to change.

This is how the first week of the Insanity Fitness program went.  One week down, seven more to go.

Day 1 (Jan.28) - Fitness Test: This is to see how much you can already do and is a baseline for during and after you complete the program.

Well, crap.  I couldn't even finish it.  Got halfway through, thought I was going to barf, and Adam told me to call it quits for the night.  Pretty discouraging, even though I expected that I would have difficulty with this.  My boobs are too big for this crap.  I wondered if I should stop until I was able to get through the test.

Day 2 (Jan.29)- the first workout:  I managed to make it all the way through this, despite the fact that I DID have to take it at my own pace and there were certain exercises I had to modify.  Taping my own chest was an interesting task, although it did help. Our supply of duct tape isn't going to last very long.  Anything that incorporates jumping kills my right knee.  It's the one I mysteriously hurt a few months back.

I took this picture about an hour after I had completed the workout.  Yeah, red face a full hour afterwards.

I was completely exhausted the rest of the day and was very thankful when Daven decided to take a 3 hour nap.  I passed out right next to him.

Day 3 (Jan.30)- more cardio: Woke up this morning aching all over.  While walking down the stairs to get to my coffee maker, I thought there's no way I'll be able to do another workout today.  But by hell I did.  My jumps weren't very jumpy.  And the push ups?  Fuuuuuuuudge no.  The video says to never compromise form for speed.  Ok, so I'll do one push up while you do eight, ok?

I didn't think I would even be able to lift my legs to get into the shower.  We had McDonalds for lunch because it's bub's birthday and it nauseated me.  I felt so ill earlier this evening that I managed to sleep through Daven playing the drums.  We're about to go bowling, but there is no way that I will be participating.  I hurt so bad I want to cry.  My ribs feel like they are on fire.

Day 4 (Jan.31)- cardio recovery: Wait, there's the word recovery in the title?  That's got to be good, right?  Well...
This was a completely different beast.  Lots of yoga, and I just about fell flat on my ass a few times.  To say my balance could be better is an understatement.  I admit it - I have to do the modified "girly" push ups.  But it's progress!  I did almost fall over and twist my ankle at one point.  This workout really messed with my equilibrium.

Day 5 (Feb.1) - attack of the cardio: I almost didn't work out today.  For half of the day I had problems out the back door, if you know what I mean.  And I spent the whole day feeling like I was going to hurl.  I didn't even manage to eat anything until 1pm.  After that, I felt just human enough to take a shower.  And here was where I noticed the first CHANGE.

I was able to fully wrap a normal-sized towel around myself without anything spilling out.  Usually when I attempt this, an entire boob flops out from the towel; unless of course I happen to have one of the super long towels.  I don't know where exactly I'm losing and how I fit into the towel, but it's definitely a start.  So at 9pm, when my stomach finally decided to settle, I put on my tennis shoes and I did the video.  I had to take  frequent breaks.  During what I believe were called something along the lines of frog jumps, I accidentally ripped a giant fart.  Yes, you read that right.  I'm being blunt and honest here.

 Shawn T + french onion soup = uncontrollable gas.  

But the people in the video were having to step off to the side and break as well.  If only one of them had farted!  Ah, that would have been swell.  Shawn T ended the session with a profanity that was bleeped out.  I think it's silly to do that - let him curse!  Sh*t!

Day 6 (Feb.2) - abs: I was relieved to see that this video is the shortest yet.  It's under 20 minutes long.  I didn't feel like working out - it still hurts my belly to eat and then after I'm having to spend some quality time on the throne.  But I wanted to get it out of the way so that I didn't have to dread doing it later after getting back from the in-laws.

While Daven and I were outside playing in the snow this afternoon (before my workout today), my pants kept falling down.  I'd keep hoisting them way up, but then as soon as I would bend over to make another snow ball, I practically mooned the neighbors.  Now, we don't have a scale in our house yet.  I don't know how many pounds, if any, that I have lost yet.  And the jeans have been worn a few times since they were last run through the dryer.  But with that being said, I feel like what I am working on is doing some good.

I am really looking forward to the fact that tomorrow is supposed to be the one day a week that you don't have to do a video.  Day 7 is a resting day!

Congrats if you made it all the way through this post!  I was originally going to wait until the end of the program to post about it, but I realized that it would end up being as long as a book if I did!


  1. Girl, I couldn't even make it through the warm up when my husband was doing Insanity so much credit to you! Keep up the good work, it is NOT easy.

  2. Wow...I read all of it and you've inspired me to get off my rear end! I keep thinking about it. Thinking ain't doing. I have GOT to get a move on and exercise! Thanks for the journal of your first week! :)

  3. Thanks, ladies. It isn't pretty, that's for sure!