Sunday, February 24, 2013

Insanity and a Fat Girl - Week 4

Day 1 (Feb.18) - Pure cardio & cardio abs: We had a pretty busy day today.  The weather was decent, mom had the day off of work and we spent some time together.  If you missed it, I posted a blog with pictures of bub from today.

Since I didn't get to the workout first thing in the morning and we were gone the rest of the day, it was night before I got around to doing the video.  After a bit of arguing about whether or not there was room for both Adam and I to work out at the same time, we finally did.  I was off to the side on the squeaky part of the floor that I didn't know we had.  Daven fell asleep on the couch.  Not sure if it was from exhaustion or if he was tired of us looking like crazy people.

Day 2 (Feb.19) - Cardio power & resistance: I had all day to do this but I didn't get started until about 8:30 at night.  I felt cruddy and tired all day - the lovely PMS curse.  Yes, I'm talking about girly issues.  Deal with it.  I tried to get Daven to nap because he was acting a bit puny.  But then I ended up dozing and woke up 10 minutes later to Daven sitting on the floor in big pile of potting soil.  Mommy fail.  I had tried growing some herbs in little terracotta pots but they didn't take.  I had been meaning to take them downstairs and onto the porch until we could grow something else in them.  Oops.

So I did the work out and pushed myself as hard as I could.  Then I slept poorly because my legs ached.  I was excited to find out that the series premier of Body of Proof started though, and I laid in bed watching that.  The bad thing was that I couldn't remember what all happened in the previous season finale, and even with the flashbacks that they did, mom and I were still guessing some of the details through text.  

Day 3 (Feb. 20) - Plyometric cardio circuit:  I forced myself to do the workout before Adam got home today.  After having achy legs last night all night, it didn't take long for that to kick in again.  I must have worked harder last night on that video than I have before because my legs burn!

I didn't quite make it through the video today, despite that I have gotten through it a handful of times before.  I was doing alright until I got to the level 1 drills and then I had a hard time catching my breath.  I made it until the last circuit and then I felt like passing out.  I was on the floor (stupid level 1 drills) and my head started spinning.  I was bent over on my knees, my head resting on the carpet, panting like a dog in the middle of the dessert and I hear Shawn T. shouting, "In!  Out!  In!  Out!  Don't stop!"  I felt violated.  I envisioned in my head Shawn T. standing to the side of a couple's bed, workout clothes on, headset mic in place, shouting instructions and encouragement.  "You can do this.  I'm here for you.  Take a deep breath and get back in it."  "Good, good, excellent form.  Give me eight more good ones."  "Tighten your core, let me see those muscles working!"

You have to admit, whether or not you like my humor, that you can see it in your head now, too.  He actually does say all of those things during the workouts.

Just like my moment with the towel and the knee socks, my robe fits the way it should now.  Before, the two sides would just barely meet together and my girls felt free to escape at any moment.

Yes, the girls still hang down low.  They still weigh 1,000 pounds, after all.

Day 4 (Feb. 21) - Cardio recovery: My friend Amanda dropped by for brunch this morning and hung out with us.  I made homemade cinnamon rolls.  Adam makes fun of me for being the typical instagrammer and posting pictures of my food, but I wish I had taken a picture of these because I was proud of them.

I got to the video right before dinner.  I was about halfway through when Adam got home from work.  I've gotten better about handling him seeing me work out, thankfully.  When Daven got down on the floor with me and said, "Me want to work out with you, mommy!" I had Adam take a picture.  It is not in any way flattering, but I've said from the beginning that I want to be honest.  So here I am, in all the Insanity glory, with my workout bubby.

This particular exercise, which has you going back and forth between low plank and high plank, I have to do modified or girlie style.  While I am getting better at maintaining in regular plank position (legs straight out balancing on your toes), I can't quite do this one yet.

I've mentioned before on this particular video that there is a move that I cannot do yet at all.  You stretch out at your side, holding your body up with only one arm.  Something made me try it today, and youch, I shouldn't have.  I don't quite have the strength OR the balance for it, and I pulled something in my "core".  It made trying to get comfortable in bed for the night difficult.  I think the next time I attempt this I need a spotter to help hold me in position.  (That's not what he said)

Day 5 (Feb. 22) - Pure cardio & cardio abs: I got to it today.  Still hurting from yesterday's "recovery" but I knew if I didn't just get it over with, I'd be more likely to find an excuse not to do it at all later.  This video feels like it goes by a bit faster because it doesn't repeat the exercises.  When I'm working a circuit and starting out you know that you will have to do the whole set two more times, I focus on time more and get bogged down.  I still have to take breaks and am completely exhausted just from warming up, but at least when there's a move I can't do well I know that the longest I will have to do it is a minute.

I've noticed in the past couple of days that I have small bruises scattered throughout my stomach, thighs and arms. Not really sure what that is about.  What bothers me more than anything is the constant itching from my stupid dry skin rash that is everywhere.  But aside from that bit of grump, I am excited that I am almost done with the first month!

Also, I have gone the last 3 days without a soft drink.  I'm not planning on cutting them out completely - they are just too tasty.  Adam and I have both tried that and it was miserable.  But I wasn't denying myself one; I just didn't drink any.  And that made me proud of myself. 

Day 6 (Feb.23) - Plyometric cardio circuit - So, it finally happened.  I didn't work out today.  Aunt Flow has delivered to me the period from hell and I feel like a bag full of dog poo that has been picked up fresh from a walk with a plastic baggie.  Headache, backache, revolting uterus - I give a middle finger to Mother Nature for this one.  In addition to my womanly woes, my right knee has started to swell again.  I'm a not-so-hot mess.  Daven patted my back while we laid in bed upstairs this afternoon; I was curled up in a blanket burrito and he was watching Handy Manny.  He is already such an empathetic kid and I am so grateful that he's mine.

Day 7 (Feb. 24) - Rest - Well, ya'll I'm pretty damn discouraged.  We finally got a scale today.  And while I don't have my weight from the day I started working out, my weight from a few weeks prior was 264.  Today, after doing a month of insanity, I weigh 268.  Adam said that I probably gained in that time period and that's why it looks like I haven't lost.  And bless his heart for encouraging me.  But I still feel like shit.  I can't help it.  Yes, I know that I am better off than I was a month ago and that it's going to take time to get healthy.  But I sure as hell didn't think that I would have gainied this month!  I kind of feel like I've been smacked across the face.

I almost should have expected this after the knee brace that I bought didn't fit around my leg.  They are one size fits all, and I am still too fat for that one size.  So what the hell do I do?  In order to keep working out, I need support for my knee.  But for any brace to fit I need to lose weight.  Effed in the ay.

We're going to start seriously dieting this next month, along with continuing the workout.  And I have to tell you - this makes me super nervous.  My emotions are still so heavy tied with food I'm afraid that I'm going to be a wreck trying to stick with this.  I've already made baby steps in my eating habits, although purchasing the Mega Stuffed Oreos was not one of them.  Basically, I need to lose 100 pounds to be considered healthy.  I just have a feeling that I'm going to have to ask the dr. to up my Zoloft dosage to keep my family from having to deal with a blubbering mess I'm going to be for denying myself food.  Doesn't that just sound stupid?  Eating healthy equates to going hungry to me.  And cutting out practically anything that tastes good.  But I'm going to give it everything I've got.  So if you see me and I'm crying, please just give me a hug.  I'm going to need it.


  1. You are doing great and its all in the proof of things fitting better. You are replacing fat with muscle and muscle weighs more than fat, so you have lost what you need to. And I think it will be a transition to eat better, but youve already been saying that you have a harder time eating as much and fast food plus you arent craving soda as much so those are all positive changes. You can do this!

    1. Thanks, Shelbs. I know that logically I've made progress in the past month. It was just so tough to see the numbers go up instead of down. I'm glad I've got you as a long-term, supportive friend. ::hugs::